Remember me?

I’ve been MIA for quite some time and for no good reason.  Wellll….maybe there is a decent reason for my absence.  I declared to the world (or the 2 people that actually read my blog) back in August that photography will become my life and my new career because this is my passion and this will fulfill my need to do something that matters to me.  To be honest, when I proclaimed this I wasn’t sure if I was up to the challenge.  I wasn’t sure if I lost my passion…I just wasn’t sure.  And so I decided to stay hidden beneath the shadows and pretend like I didn’t just announce to everyone I know that I wanted to become a wedding photographer.  I spoke out loud because I wanted to be held accountable and then I actually felt kind of stupid for speaking too soon because I wasn’t sure.

Since August, I’ve been hiding in obscurty, but I still thought about her, Photography, everyday.  She nagged me deep, deep inside asking me when she can come out and play and I kept trying to ignore her because I didn’t want to talk to her.  I didn’t want to let her out and play and watch her fall flat on her face and fail.  I didn’t want her to try and then find out she sucked.  I didn’t want her to face the fears of chasing a dream.  Isn’t it better to just live a safe life rather than go for the unknown?  I thought so for that time because I was and still am scared.  I’m scared of it all, but lately, I started to see things in a different light.

Things are going fairly well at my current job, but as I worked my butt off I realized I was working my butt of for someone else.  I am constantly having to make sure I do a good job and it was all for someone else.  I was working through lunch, staying an hour late each night, and stressing out about my performance all for someone else.  This isn’t right…I should be doing all of this for me and for something that I love because, then, it would be worth it.  So the wheels starting turning again and even faster and more furious than before.  Little Ms. Photography was pounding at the door again anxious to come show herself and this time, I’m letting her.  Slowly, but surely she’s going to come out to play.  I’ve been learning a lot and I’m so anxious to learn more, as much as I can absorb.  Crystal has been teaching me and is encouraging me to practice, practice, practice and that is what I’m devoting this year to.

So, world (my 2 readers), I’m ready and so excited to begin this journey with you, again.  I promise you I won’t go MIA again because I no longer feel fear.  Fear can come and breathe its stank breath in my face and I won’t flinch.  I know there will be ups and downs and I may feel like I suck, but I won’t let it get the best of me.  I’m here to stay and here’s a new picture of me and my new sassy attitude, courtesy of my sister, Crystal Le.



2 Responses to “Remember me?”

  1. 1 crystallephotography March 9, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    good post. you can do it. just need to “just do it.”

    nice blog. i should fix mine during spring break. it’s really pathetic.

  2. 2 rachee March 9, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    can’t wait to see more 🙂

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